He is real!

Last night as I was comfortably tucked into my fabulous new bed, getting ready to fall asleep, I hear my roommate's now familiar scream.  It means only one thing, Eddie is out.  Now let me state for a fact that I have never seen Eddie.  I've heard the scream that indicates that he's out and I've heard him described, but I've never seen him.  That all changed last night.  I can now confirm that Eddie is real.  When I heard the scream I dutifully got out of bed to help (I am after all the "handy bug killing roommate" --> sick joke).  So into the kitchen I go dodging around my roomie to turn on the light... and then I see him... and then I'm scared.  Yes I know, he's just a cockroach, I'm 1,000+ times his size, BUT HOLY CRAP!  He's a big fricken bug!  So I do what any "handy bug killing roommate" would do... I ran away.  Here's the sororityville part of the evening where my roommate and I stand in the hallway gesticulating and yelling at each other to go kill the bug.  This plan clearly didn't accomplish anything, so here we go.  I get my Frye boots and into the kitchen I go.  Then out of the kitchen again.  Seriously, this is a big bug.  I finally get up the nerve, I have the telephone book, I'm getting in there to smash the heck out of this bug annnnnd he crawls back into the hole he crawled out... Shit. 

So here is where we stand now.  We have plugged up the hole.  Yes, obviously this is not going to work.  Cockroaches can squish themselves into tiny little holes, so eventually Eddie will be out.  The phone book and Frye boot are not an effective combination to keep Eddie in his hole.  Now the exterminator is and that is why on Thursday Eddie will be dead.  Yes, we are having Eddie exterminated.  We will (hopefully) once again be a house of two; however, in the words of our worldly wise friend from Georgia "if there is one, there are thousands."  We have chosen to ignore this.  All I can say for sure, is that until the exterminator comes our make shit hole plugging system will stay in place and the kitchen light will stay on, cause let's be honest-- Eddie is not afraid of the dark, but he does seem to be afraid of the two of us and the light.  So grab your snack and beverage before you go to bed and leave the light on and maybe Eddie will stay in bed.  

...and you will treat him with respect!

As I write this my roommate and I (the non-Eddie one) are watching Project Runway and contemplating our future south of the Mason Dixon line.  There are several features that we have observed since our move here, not the least of which is the existence (in plentiful supply) of the American Cockroach, enter Eddie!  Now the cat is out of the bag Eddie is in fact one of the fearsome crew, a member of that infamous family - Cockroach Americanus- (yes I arbitrarily made up a faux Latin name.)  I'll let me other roommate tell the story of how she met Eddie, but let's all know now that upon his discovery we called our nearest male friend who happens to be a resident of the "true South" and his reply to our dismay was "welcome to the South," so now we know our new home is also home sweet home to cockroaches aplenty.